I was volunteering at my daughter’s school last week and while I was waiting for them to come back from their “special area,” I was sitting outside of the front office when I noticed this poster. I had to squat down to take this picture, because it is perfectly situated to be eye-level with the sweet, tiny humans that enter this classroom every day. I was immediately overjoyed when I saw this because I am a huge fan of life-giving words.
What makes this extra special though, is the fact that the children reading this poster probably believe these words, at least for the time that they are in there. Words are so powerful and so is intentional encouragement. Words have the power to teach, give hope and strengthen others.
Mamas – are we speaking life-giving words over our children, regularly? Where can we make more time in our day to do so?
ME: You are SMART, you are STRONG, you are KIND, you are BRAVE and you are BEAUTIFUL.
ME + ELYSON: You are SMART, you are STRONG, you are KIND, you are BRAVE and you are BEAUTIFUL and I LOVE YOU.
For the past several years, I have intentionally made time to say this every night with Elyson before she goes to bed and I have started this with Emmett recently as well. It’s important to me that my children hear these words every single day right before they fall asleep. Life-giving words, positive self-talk, words of encouragement and feelings of grace and love forms and transforms a child’s heart.
Sure, it’s easier (and equally important) to share life-giving words in the morning before you send them off to school for 7 hours or at night before you put them to bed, but life-giving words do not come easily to me when disciplining my children. Sometimes I see red, sometimes I feel like I am turning into the hulk, most of the time, I yell.
“Positive” discipline seemed so far out of my realm, I almost believed it was an oxymoron. I realized though, that even in the times where I felt green and 10 feet tall, I could stop and think about a different way to address my miniature maniacs. Here are a few examples of life-speaking phrases to try out with your kiddos:
If your child lies to you: In this house, we don’t lie. You are a truth teller.
If your children are fighting with one another and are using words out of anger: You have kind hearts and you use your words to speak kindness and love to your brother/sister. You are a kind person.
If sharing is an issue: In this house, we have sharing hearts. You share happily with others.
If you have a Sassy McSasserton: The (insert your family’s last name) family is respectful. You are a respectful child and we love one another.
If your child is acting ungrateful (like everyday, right?!): We are so fortunate to have everything we need. You are a grateful and content child.
Listen, I get it. You’re probably like, “Ok, Melissa, like that will ever work…you don’t know my kids.” But I do. I have your kids too, except their mine. Here’s the deal – it’s hard to even think about life-giving words in the midst of a meltdown. I highly recommend that you wait until the meltdown is over, otherwise you’ll be talking (or screaming) your life-giving words to a brick wall. But kids are like sponges. Talk to them calmly once the heightened moment has passed. They’ll hear you. They’ll remember that they are truth-tellers, a kind person, a happy sharer, a respectful and content child and eventually – here’s the kicker – they’ll believe it and start living it out.
Our children have all sorts of things spoken into their lives every day, but are they always what we want them to hear or believe? What if you took 3 minutes before school in the morning or before bed at night to speak life-giving words over your children? What if you kept some life-giving words in your back pocket to use when your kids are misbehaving? What if you took an additional 3 minutes to speak life-giving words over yourself?
Just a thought…